Our First Time

There we were, on our way to meet a potential donor. I felt calmed by the fact that my wife was nervously going over everything we talked about to ensure we were on the same page. I love that about her. Protective. Reassuring that she had not missed a step.  I kept a cool head up until we stepped out of the car. Just like the day we met, the day we married and every Sunday we have spent together - the sun was stunning and blanketed us in its warmth. Sounds cheesy, but I felt like it was a sign I had learned to trust since I met my wife.

It wasn't until we were walking to the meeting place and we saw him, that I realized just how nervous I was.

We were all nervous, shaking like we had all caught the same chill of excitement and adrenaline. Thankfully it wasn't awkward, everyone seemed happy to be there and relieved we all had the same nervousness.

We talked about everything that came to mind. He was very forward in information he thought we might want to know about him and happily provided answers.  I wasn't sure what to think but I felt comforted by his personality and forwardness. Even his motivation set me at ease.
I've read so many blogs here on the pressures of NI and thankfully with this donor that would never be an issue. Well because he's truly gay.

I liked his personality, his looks, his roots, medical history and readiness to follow through.
I'll be honest: I am not a hugely emotional person unless it comes to my wife.

After we left and went our separate ways, it was hard not to be overwhelmed with emotion. I've spent nearly my entire life raising my siblings and tending to other peoples children, that the realization that I am going to have a family of my own almost choked the air out of me!

My wife and I embraced each other, buried our faces deep and talked about what we were feeling. It's that connectedness that makes any place home for me with her.
I know it is too soon to tell, but I feel like we are off to the right start.

Mahalo!

M's Blog Post

I'll be honest, when we met with an initial person I thought would be a great, my heart broke with disappointment when he said it wasn't for him. He could hardly make eye contact with me or my wife, but kept on smiling and talking.

After that passing moment of disappointment, we smiled together and showed a united front that we appreciated his time and thoughtfulness in telling us in person. His biggest fear- that he would feel obligated to be involved, no matter what we said about it being our baby.  My biggest fear- that that kind of involvement would come true.

It's different for the non carrying lesbian, or as I am: the Butch woman.  For weeks I felt inadequate that I couldn't give my wife the piece of me she deserves. With every day that passes we grow stronger in our marriage and our dedication to our family.

That's when she found this website. Frankly I am flattered and thankful for all the males out there who selflessly do what they can to help couples or women to fulfill their lives with children.
Before this registry I felt lost, like the pool and ability for us to try was shallow and closing.
Then here we are, emphatically and carefully talking about our future, trying hard not to jump the gun and try and do everything.

I feel very fortunate folks. Very, very fortunate.